yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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