As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
