so that wasnt chicken after all
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I queefed so loud it echoed.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
