the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
