Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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