i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
do herpes really smell.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
