hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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