I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize