weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize