sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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