What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
