Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
