No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
