it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
