Please don't use social media to get back at me.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
