i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
