There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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