Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
