Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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