your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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