shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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