Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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