Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
40s are totally the cure
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
