i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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