do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
