My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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