Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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