So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
