If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
