OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
