i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
