She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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