So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
