If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
