Me too!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
