I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
