i don't like sucking hair
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
