Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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