Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
