I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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