omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
