No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
