Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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