I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
