I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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