I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
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