people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
