so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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