I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
