so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
