I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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