I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm sobbing to NWA
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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