I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
