I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
smell my finger.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
