Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
