i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We need to get me chipped asap
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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