Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
