I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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